Metalci spasavaju princezu

Covenant · 1.1.2006, 2:07

Mislim da mnogi zanju za ove fore,ali evo za one koji nisu culi
Pozajmljeno je iz Metal Hammer-a cini mi se.....
Hehe...

This is the situation: There is a beautiful princess trapped in a castle guarded by a dragon. Here is the end of the story with different kind of metalheads as knights.
* POWER METAL The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the
princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
* THRASH METAL The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
* HEAVY METAL The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
* FOLK METAL The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins,
flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep
(because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
* VIKING METAL The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe,
skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to
death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
* DEATH METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
* BLACK METAL The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle.
Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.
Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.
* GORE METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front
of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again,
slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time,
burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
* DOOM METAL The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never
beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the
princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
* PROGRESSIVE METAL The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes.
The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom,
plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the
conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
* GLAM METAL The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets
him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
* NU METAL The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the
dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

*Oggy* · 1.1.2006, 8:42

Da znam

neki ljudi kojima sam to pokazao su se bukvalno valjali od smeha dok su citali!

Marjan J. · 1.1.2006, 12:53

hahahahha najace je za nu metal

VeNoM · 1.1.2006, 13:24

heheh nije loše....

voodoo_ · 1.1.2006, 14:07

Znate onaj fazon "zašto je pile prešlo ulicu", pa kao Ajnštajn odgovara "nije prešlo nego se ulica pomerila pod njegovim nogama", Platon kaže "zbog opšteg dobra", Koštunica kaže "nisam obavešten" itd.
E, varijanta sa metal grupama:

Zašto je pile prešlo ulicu?

Rhapsody: To slay the mighty, great and glorious dragon which honorably bears the unholy symbol of the five flaming crossed swords!

Hammerfall: To come to the home of the brave!

My Dying Bride: To die alone and embrace the unescapable cold embrace of death on a cold, dark, misty autumn night... It's bloodied body is what I cling to...

Iron Maiden: It was afraid of the dark.

Sinergy: It went to the fourth world!

W.A.S.P.: To fuck something.

Manowar: TO FIGHT SIDE BY SIDE WITH THOR'S MIGHTY MINIONS!!! Tto rock, drink and fuck... AND BE METALLLLLLLLLLL! If the chicken is not into metal, it is NOT MY FRIEND!

Type O Negative: ...

Sentenced: To end its misery.

Lost Horizon: TO ENTER THE KINGDOM OF WILL AND FREE ITSELF FROM ALL CHAINS OF FATE!!!

Satan Panonski: JER JE BILA BLUDNAAAAAAAAAAA I TREBA TRPITI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Burzum: To KILL THE JEWS!!!

Slayer: TO REFUSE THIS FUCKING RACE, REJECT GOD AND BE BAPTIZED IN BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!

(ubaci ime power metal benda): To fly on the wings of destiny!

Korn: To get away from abusive parents.

Children of Bodom: Cuz it got more painful every time he died...

Annihilator: Chicken isn't it frightening, chicken aren't you scarred...?

Korpiklaani: To drink, fight and dance till the morning!

Yngwie: TO UNLEASH THE FOKKIN' FURY!!!!

Vintersorg: To go TO THE MOUNTAINS

Ozzy: Chicken gather in their masses... just like witches at black masses...

Metallica: To sue other chicken for crossing his road!

Cradle of Filth: RAAAAA RAAAAAAA GROOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU GREEEEEEEEEEEE CHICKEEEEEEEEEEEEEN GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Amon Amarth: TO RIDE FOR VENGEANCE, FIGHT FOR HONOUR, GLORY, DIE IN FIRE!

Stratovarius: To hunt high & low!

Sonata Arctica: Chicken, my darling, i'm writing to you, tell me that you still love me, whore...

Helloween: To be friends with the other chicken! WEEEEE! Chicken don't come easy!

Running wild: ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Misfits: TO RAPE YOUR MOTHER AND KILL YOUR BABY TODAY YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Judas Priest: Wings of steel this chicken, deadly nose this chichken yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Evergrey: It went in search of truth

Kalmah: It went TO THE SWAMP!

Saxon: WAS IT WEARIN DENIM, WEARIN LEATHER?

Nevermore: Nevermore to lay an egg, the egg collector sang, and it won't be feeling hollow for so long..

Madder Mortem: Because that is where forever opens, taht is where it falls apart...

System Of A Down: For selfrighteous suicide

voodoo_ · 1.1.2006, 14:07

[nastavak]

Cannibal Corpse: To be slayed, butchered, fucked, raped, strangled, for me to feast on its intestines!

Symphony X - To unleash the fuyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!

Dream Theater: To look another way and not find it there

Phatasmagoria: Jer nekoliko prelazaka nije vecnost, probudi se....

Susperia: to enter HOME SWEET HELL!

Immortal: To enter the necrotic frostbitten gates of blashyrkh... mighty grim ravendark...

Impaled Northern Moonforest: aagrwwwaehrdfshgrwwwwaeeeeeeerwwwwwweraaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaanhraghthsaghttCghteeeeeHerrrrraaaaaaaaaIIII IIIICKEEEEEEEEEgrawarereraNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Anal Cunt: Chicken's mom is gay.

Hatebreed: to FACE WHAT CONSUMES IT!!!!!

Temnozor: By fires and murder, the yellow chicken roars...

Bal-sagoth: To enter the cosmic power in it's vast void of empty nothingness and swoosh within the astral forces of the northern something.. BLODU OK JARNA!

HIM: To drink the blood and be killed by its love...

Limp bizkit: Welcome to da country, punk, take a look around, it's chicken fuckin' up ya town... CHICKEN IS ACROSS DA STREET Y'ALL!

Andromeda: Chicken = 2 chicken

Bruce Dickinson: He didnt want to be in a band with an italian drummer. TO THROW ITSELF INTO THE SEA!

Mayhem: To worship satan!

Arch Enemy: It needs your flesh...

Gamma Ray: YOU-EVIL-FARMERS! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE CONTROL! YOU CAN TAKE IT'S LAID EGGS, BUT YOU CAN'T BREAK ITS SOUL! ONE DAY IT SHALL BE FREE!

Joe Satriani: "tiruli triruliliruliiiiiiiiiiiiii ChchchchchchtrilululilialuariaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA eeeeeeeeeeauauauauaua *solo*"

Dimmu Borgir: Chicken is war, chicken is pain, chicken is all you've ever slain, he is tears in your eyes, he's the bringer of the blight...

Cruachan: It's on the rocky road to dublin!

Impaled Nazarene: Chicken has crossed the via dolorosa with zero tolerance. The absence of eggs does not mean peace!

Grave Digger: Chickenheart! almighty king, freedom it'll bring! *bagpipes*krijeeesht*

Pantera: To cross the cemetary gates...

Queen: The chicken must go on! Fat bottomed chicken make the rockin' world go round!

Led Zeppelin: To be a rock and not to roll...

Sirenia: It was at sixes and sevens

Blind Guardian: ACROSS THE STREET IT WILL BELIEVE (back vokal: ACROSS THE STREET IT WILL BE FREE!)

Nargaroth: CHICKEN IST KRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG!

Venom: Chicken is in league with Satan!

King Diamond: Oh poor little chicken, it doesn't know what it got itself into... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHehehehehehehahahaha!!!

Turbonegro: Chicken's got erection.

Nokturnal Mortum: IN THE NAME OF ARYAN PRIDE!

Iced Earth: Saviour to his own, chicken to some, chickenkind falls, something wicked comes!

Demons & Wizards: He went to fiddle on the green

Undercode: To raise his wings, cuz he knows who he is!

Dungeon: To meet his slave of love...

1.1.2006, 2:07	#1
Covenant Deo inventara foruma Član od: 4.11.2005. Lokacija: Neverland Poruke: 3.463 Zahvalnice: 387 Zahvaljeno 736 puta na 487 poruka	Metalci spasavaju princezu Mislim da mnogi zanju za ove fore,ali evo za one koji nisu culi Pozajmljeno je iz Metal Hammer-a cini mi se..... Hehe... This is the situation: There is a beautiful princess trapped in a castle guarded by a dragon. Here is the end of the story with different kind of metalheads as knights. * POWER METAL The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest. * THRASH METAL The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her. * HEAVY METAL The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess. * FOLK METAL The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess. * VIKING METAL The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving. * DEATH METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves. * BLACK METAL The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon. * GORE METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time. * DOOM METAL The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story. * PROGRESSIVE METAL The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist. * GLAM METAL The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour. * NU METAL The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

1.1.2006, 8:42	#2
Oggy C64 Legend Član od: 27.10.2005. Lokacija: Beograd Poruke: 2.619 Zahvalnice: 2.207 Zahvaljeno 662 puta na 458 poruka	Re: Metalci spasavaju princezu Da znam neki ljudi kojima sam to pokazao su se bukvalno valjali od smeha dok su citali!

1.1.2006, 12:53	#3
Marjan J. Član Član od: 5.12.2005. Poruke: 55 Zahvalnice: 2 Zahvaljeno 0 puta na 0 poruka	Re: Metalci spasavaju princezu hahahahha najace je za nu metal

1.1.2006, 13:24	#4
VeNoM Član Član od: 16.12.2005. Lokacija: BGD Poruke: 370 Zahvalnice: 0 Zahvaljeno 23 puta na 13 poruka	Re: Metalci spasavaju princezu heheh nije loše....

1.1.2006, 14:07	#5
voodoo_ V.I.P. GNU/Linux Član od: 1.11.2005. Poruke: 11.166 Zahvalnice: 2.085 Zahvaljeno 4.923 puta na 2.859 poruka	Re: Metalci spasavaju princezu Znate onaj fazon "zašto je pile prešlo ulicu", pa kao Ajnštajn odgovara "nije prešlo nego se ulica pomerila pod njegovim nogama", Platon kaže "zbog opšteg dobra", Koštunica kaže "nisam obavešten" itd. E, varijanta sa metal grupama: Zašto je pile prešlo ulicu? Rhapsody: To slay the mighty, great and glorious dragon which honorably bears the unholy symbol of the five flaming crossed swords! Hammerfall: To come to the home of the brave! My Dying Bride: To die alone and embrace the unescapable cold embrace of death on a cold, dark, misty autumn night... It's bloodied body is what I cling to... Iron Maiden: It was afraid of the dark. Sinergy: It went to the fourth world! W.A.S.P.: To fuck something. Manowar: TO FIGHT SIDE BY SIDE WITH THOR'S MIGHTY MINIONS!!! Tto rock, drink and fuck... AND BE METALLLLLLLLLLL! If the chicken is not into metal, it is NOT MY FRIEND! Type O Negative: ... Sentenced: To end its misery. Lost Horizon: TO ENTER THE KINGDOM OF WILL AND FREE ITSELF FROM ALL CHAINS OF FATE!!! Satan Panonski: JER JE BILA BLUDNAAAAAAAAAAA I TREBA TRPITI!!!!!!!!!!!!! Burzum: To KILL THE JEWS!!! Slayer: TO REFUSE THIS FUCKING RACE, REJECT GOD AND BE BAPTIZED IN BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!! (ubaci ime power metal benda): To fly on the wings of destiny! Korn: To get away from abusive parents. Children of Bodom: Cuz it got more painful every time he died... Annihilator: Chicken isn't it frightening, chicken aren't you scarred...? Korpiklaani: To drink, fight and dance till the morning! Yngwie: TO UNLEASH THE FOKKIN' FURY!!!! Vintersorg: To go TO THE MOUNTAINS Ozzy: Chicken gather in their masses... just like witches at black masses... Metallica: To sue other chicken for crossing his road! Cradle of Filth: RAAAAA RAAAAAAA GROOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU GREEEEEEEEEEEE CHICKEEEEEEEEEEEEEN GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Amon Amarth: TO RIDE FOR VENGEANCE, FIGHT FOR HONOUR, GLORY, DIE IN FIRE! Stratovarius: To hunt high & low! Sonata Arctica: Chicken, my darling, i'm writing to you, tell me that you still love me, whore... Helloween: To be friends with the other chicken! WEEEEE! Chicken don't come easy! Running wild: ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Misfits: TO RAPE YOUR MOTHER AND KILL YOUR BABY TODAY YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Judas Priest: Wings of steel this chicken, deadly nose this chichken yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Evergrey: It went in search of truth Kalmah: It went TO THE SWAMP! Saxon: WAS IT WEARIN DENIM, WEARIN LEATHER? Nevermore: Nevermore to lay an egg, the egg collector sang, and it won't be feeling hollow for so long.. Madder Mortem: Because that is where forever opens, taht is where it falls apart... System Of A Down: For selfrighteous suicide

1.1.2006, 14:07	#6
voodoo_ V.I.P. GNU/Linux Član od: 1.11.2005. Poruke: 11.166 Zahvalnice: 2.085 Zahvaljeno 4.923 puta na 2.859 poruka	Re: Metalci spasavaju princezu [nastavak] Cannibal Corpse: To be slayed, butchered, fucked, raped, strangled, for me to feast on its intestines! Symphony X - To unleash the fuyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Dream Theater: To look another way and not find it there Phatasmagoria: Jer nekoliko prelazaka nije vecnost, probudi se.... Susperia: to enter HOME SWEET HELL! Immortal: To enter the necrotic frostbitten gates of blashyrkh... mighty grim ravendark... Impaled Northern Moonforest: aagrwwwaehrdfshgrwwwwaeeeeeeerwwwwwweraaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaanhraghthsaghttCghteeeeeHerrrrraaaaaaaaaIIII IIIICKEEEEEEEEEgrawarereraNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Anal Cunt: Chicken's mom is gay. Hatebreed: to FACE WHAT CONSUMES IT!!!!! Temnozor: By fires and murder, the yellow chicken roars... Bal-sagoth: To enter the cosmic power in it's vast void of empty nothingness and swoosh within the astral forces of the northern something.. BLODU OK JARNA! HIM: To drink the blood and be killed by its love... Limp bizkit: Welcome to da country, punk, take a look around, it's chicken fuckin' up ya town... CHICKEN IS ACROSS DA STREET Y'ALL! Andromeda: Chicken = 2 chicken Bruce Dickinson: He didnt want to be in a band with an italian drummer. TO THROW ITSELF INTO THE SEA! Mayhem: To worship satan! Arch Enemy: It needs your flesh... Gamma Ray: YOU-EVIL-FARMERS! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE CONTROL! YOU CAN TAKE IT'S LAID EGGS, BUT YOU CAN'T BREAK ITS SOUL! ONE DAY IT SHALL BE FREE! Joe Satriani: "tiruli triruliliruliiiiiiiiiiiiii ChchchchchchtrilululilialuariaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA eeeeeeeeeeauauauauaua solo" Dimmu Borgir: Chicken is war, chicken is pain, chicken is all you've ever slain, he is tears in your eyes, he's the bringer of the blight... Cruachan: It's on the rocky road to dublin! Impaled Nazarene: Chicken has crossed the via dolorosa with zero tolerance. The absence of eggs does not mean peace! Grave Digger: Chickenheart! almighty king, freedom it'll bring! bagpipeskrijeeesht* Pantera: To cross the cemetary gates... Queen: The chicken must go on! Fat bottomed chicken make the rockin' world go round! Led Zeppelin: To be a rock and not to roll... Sirenia: It was at sixes and sevens Blind Guardian: ACROSS THE STREET IT WILL BELIEVE (back vokal: ACROSS THE STREET IT WILL BE FREE!) Nargaroth: CHICKEN IST KRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG! Venom: Chicken is in league with Satan! King Diamond: Oh poor little chicken, it doesn't know what it got itself into... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHehehehehehehahahaha!!! Turbonegro: Chicken's got erection. Nokturnal Mortum: IN THE NAME OF ARYAN PRIDE! Iced Earth: Saviour to his own, chicken to some, chickenkind falls, something wicked comes! Demons & Wizards: He went to fiddle on the green Undercode: To raise his wings, cuz he knows who he is! Dungeon: To meet his slave of love...